• Terrell Owens as a Buffalo Bill, or ex-Tennessee Titan Adam "Pac-Man" Jones as a "Pro vs. Joe"?
• Following Jim Cramer on Twitter, or getting matched with Ed Orgeron on eHarmony.com?
• Taking Jim Cramer's investment advice, or wiping your ass with hundred-dollar bills?
• Florida as an NCAA tournament contender, or any Wade Phillips-coached, Tony Romo-quarterbacked Dallas Cowboys team as an NFL playoff contender?
• Billy Crudup's dick in "Watchmen," or Jason Segel's dick in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"?
• Britney Spears as your mom, or this guy as your dad?
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