I've seen too much for a little while, I want to forget.

Well, what can I say about this past weekend except I shouldn't have watched "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" Friday night -- everything I needed to know about what was going to go down the following afternoon was right in there.

Except when you get right down to it, the above scene, iconic though it may be, is insufficient -- and entirely too simplistic -- to accurately portray Georgia's misery in this rivalry, particularly when there's a far more apt metaphor in the very same TV special. I mean, yeah, Charlie Brown gets the ball whipped away from him at the last second every single time, which is embarrassing enough, but you'll notice nobody is ever around to watch it; the humiliation is at least a dark secret shared only between him and Lucy. To declare that "Lucy = Florida" also doesn't work -- while Lucy and the Gators are both bitches who wear blue and aren't nearly as hot as they fancy themselves, that statement implies that Georgia's chances for success are entirely in Florida's hands, which, no matter what Bulldog Nation may be thinking in its most desperate moments, isn't true either.

No, the better metaphor is "Great Pumpkin = equal footing in the Georgia-Florida rivalry." More obscure, I know, and definitely more abstract, but sometimes to make sense of cosmic absurdity like this you gotta be willing to try and wrap your brain around something challenging. Every year, we think it's coming; every year we think that if we just believe enough, it will reveal itself to us and, out of moral obligation, reward us for our seemingly unending persecution in its name. OK, I just totally fucking freaked myself out by sussing out that the Great Pumpkin is a metaphor for the Second Coming -- seriously, Charles Schultz, way to blow a brother's mind on what is otherwise a day of perfectly festive debauchery -- but all that being said, we believe, it doesn't show, and we get publicly humiliated for our faith all over again.

I believed. Oh, boy howdy, did I believe. I believed even after Aaron Murray got picked off on the game's very first play from scrimmage, believed even when Florida's previously moribund offense started gathering steam, believed even when we went into halftime down 21-7. Because look! We roared back after halftime and went on a 17-3 run to tie things up, and then, when Florida scored a relatively rapid-fire TD that put them back on top, we went right back down the field to tie it up again and, just for good measure, held on Florida's final drive of regulation and successfully forced overtime. All the trappings of that rare amazing Georgia victory were there: More than 30 points against a very good Gator defense? Check. Great QB play? After a miserable first half, Aaron Murray settled down in the second, going 13-of-21 for 198 yards, two TDs and no turnovers, looking once again like the stunningly poised player we'd seen over the first eight games. Confident squad? By the time Georgia tied it up with four and a half minutes left in regulation, our guys were jumping all over the place. The defense couldn't wait to get out on the field and make a stop; the offense looked hungry to get out there and take a stab at getting the winning score.

But obviously we didn't. Yeah, some of it comes down to inferior play -- the turnoverpalooza in the first half, f'rinstance, without which we might have been up by two scores and simply handing the ball off to Caleb King and Washaun Ealey to see how much clock, and how much of Urban Meyer's soul, they could grind down. Some of it also comes down to inexplicable coaching -- we were lucky enough that the Mikey Henderson "One and Done" play worked the first time three years ago, so did we really think we were gonna outsmart Florida's secondary with it a second time, particularly with a QB who I'm not sure has hit a fade to the end zone all season?

Some of it, though, I'm struggling to justify with any word other than "luck." Take these four situations:

1. Trey Burton fumbles at the Florida 14 and Georgia picks it up.
2. Aaron Murray fires a pass over the middle to 6'4" TE Aron White, and it's a little high but White gets a hand on it.
3. John Brantley gets sacked by Darryl Gamble at the Georgia 35 and fumbles, and a Georgia player gets a hand on it.
4. Aaron Murray throws another one over the middle to A.J. Green, the best receiver in college football, and A.J. gets a hand on it.

Two times the ball began the play in Florida's hands, two times it started off in Georgia's; all four times Georgia gets a hand on it at some point; but all four times it belongs to Florida by the time the whistle is blown. Yeah, yeah, I know: Inferior play had a hand in some of this, too, even the blown opportunities with the fumbles -- if we just fucking fall on that first one rather than trying to pick it up and run with it, for example, we start inside the Florida red zone with three near-automatic points and a pretty good chance at seven, and we deny Florida the long TD drive that swing momentum in their favor for pretty much the rest of the first half.

Still: Four times we get a hand on the ball and we don't get any of them? Not one? If we can have a game like that less than a year removed from going -16 in turnover margin, fuck a regression to the mean. It wasn't just the turnovers, either. Late fourth quarter, game tied at 31, Florida's gotten another good KO return from Chris Rainey -- and oh, God, don't get me started on his sociopathic ass being suited up and in the game to begin with -- and they've got 2nd-and-9 just a couple yards shy of midfield. Darryl Gamble crushes Brantley eight yards behind the line, resulting in 3rd-and-17 from the 40 (on a day when we're actually covering third downs pretty well, wonder of wonders), which gives us a chance to force a punt and set ourselves up with not-horrible field position and a couple minutes and two time-outs with which to get Blair Walsh in place for the game-winning field goal. Awesome, right? Right?

Nope -- a false start by Florida, their fifth false start of the day, negates the sack. They get the first down, drive into Georgia territory, pin the Dawgs at their own 6 and it's off to overtime we go. Even when they fuck up, it turns out better for them.

I realize I'm leaving myself getting open to getting flayed here -- by fans both Florida-identified and non -- with charges of whining. Hey, you're taunting a dude who's lost the ability to feel, so you're the one who's arguably wasting more energy here. And yes, again, I realize that no small amount of what I've described above goes back to Georgia's players not having the focus or fortitude to make the optimal play in a given situation, whatever that happens to be. And not long after I got home from Atlanta this evening, as I gathered my thoughts and tried to figure out what exactly I wanted to say in this space, I'll admit I briefly entertained the thought that the loud, heavily publicized, tension-fraught atmosphere of Jacksonville might have something to do with that lack of focus, which of course led to me wondering if maybe we should move the Cocktail Party out of there after all. (I mean, we've already officially ripped the words "Cocktail" and "Party" out of it to begin with; after that, any talk of tradition, on the parts of the respective university presidents at least, is pretty ridiculous.)

But no, I'm not gonna go there. Even if you think the series would be more fun for the students as a home-and-home; even if you can make a case, in spite of Georgia's still-pretty-good road record under Mark Richt, that the Dawgs' greater travel distance is a tangible hindrance to their chances of winning in this rivalry; even if you think that the Dawgs face a "hostile environment" in a stadium that is divided directly down the middle between Dawgs and Gators, it would be wrong to move this game. Why? BECAUSE IT WOULD BE A BITCH MOVE. If we were to go to a home-and-home, then no matter how dominant a run Georgia went on immediately afterward, no matter how supposedly solid our reasoning was for moving the game, we'd be the the school that whined the Cocktail Party out of Jacksonville and one of the sport's last remaining neutral-site rivalries out of existence. I'll be damned if I'm going to have that on my conscience, or the University of Georgia's.

Unfortunately, that doesn't get us a millimeter closer to solving the critical question: What do we do? I'm sorry if you came here for answers, because I don't know. What I do know is that I won't be watching the game next year. If I'm in front of a TV, it'll be tuned to something else (maybe I'll put a "Mad Men" DVD on); if I'm in the Jacksonville area, I'll be relaxing on a sunlit beach, stuffing a lime into the neck of a Corona and thanking the good Lord that, independent of any fortune or misfortune being visited upon my football team, I'm gainfully employed, living in what remains the freest country on earth, and blessed with an inordinate number of family and friends who care about me dearly. But I can't put myself through the misery of another one of these -- not for another year or so, anyway. Believe me, I've got nothing but admiration for Linus for going out there year after year in the face of overwhelming odds and public humiliation and laying bare his trusting soul for all the world to see. But I'm not Linus; I don't have a blanket to turn to anymore; and when I dated a girl named Sally in high school, she dumped me for a dude in the band. I've had an inkling for a while now, in other words, that the Great Pumpkin ain't coming for me. So I think I've earned a year off.

Aishwarya & Abhishek Bachchan on the sets of Koffee with Karan - Photos, Video

Aishwarya Rai Bachchan & Abhishek Bachchan on the sets of Koffee with Karan

Happy Birthday: At 37, Aishwarya is a director's delight

For most leading ladies in tinsel town, their career takes a downfall after they touch 30. But certainly not in the case of Aishwarya Rai, who continues to flourish in Bollywood as she turns 37 on Monday and has two mega projects -- “Action Replayy” and “Guzaarish” -- lined up for release.

The former beauty queen has come a long way from being crowned Miss World in 1994, to working in Tamil films, moving to Bollywood and finally topping it up with international fame through movie projects as well as attending prestigious foreign film festivals.

But all through her 13-year film career, filmmakers feel she has remained a director’s delight, and is here to stay for a long time to come.

“Aishwarya always followed me during the shooting of ‘Taal’, and is a complete director’s actor. I’m proud she has evolved so much as an actor. She is giving good performances, she has achieved international fame, and she is leading a happy married life -- what else can she ask for from life? But she is as grounded as ever,” filmmaker Subhash Ghai told IANS.

The director, who worked with Aishwarya in 1999, says the actress will “definitely be in Bollywood for another 10 years” and is looking forward to associating with her once again.

Ace filmmaker Sanjay Leela Bhansali, who gave Aishwarya’s career a big push with “Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam” followed by “Devdas”, says she is a timeless beauty.

“Aishwarya is my muse, my jaan and I get terribly excited when I make a film with her because she is very, very special. Some people are timeless and Aishwarya will be there for another 20 years,” said Bhansali, whose third project with the actress, “Guzaarish”, releases Nov 19.

Aishwarya, who married actor Abhishek Bachchan in 2007, has broken the notion that married actresses discontinue their film careers... and her husband is proud of her.

“I feel great about Aishwarya’s achievements, I’m very proud of her. Whatever adulation she has got, she truly deserves it. I’m happy that she broke the notion that women can’t work after marriage. Why are we so regressive in our thinking? If she wants to work, her audience wants to see her, what is people’s problem? I as a husband am very happy that she is doing so well. I think she is doing better work now,” Abhishek had said.

Aishwarya started acting in 1997 with Tamil film “Iruvar”, followed by her Bollywood debut in the same year opposite Bobby Deol in “Aur Pyaar Ho Gaya” -- both of which flopped.

But the next year, she won her first Filmfare Best Actress award South for Tamil film “Jeans”. She also bagged the Filmfare Best Actress Award for Bhansali’s “Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam”.

She gave a power-packed performance in “Taal”, but then delivered a string of duds like “Hamara Dil Aapke Paas Hai“(2000), “Dhai Akshar Prem Ke“(2000), “Albela” (2001), “Hum Kisise Kum Nahi“(2001).

But it was Bhansali’s “Devdas” that resurrected her career and fetched her another Filmfare award in the Best Actress category.

She also gave good performances in “Chokher Bali“(2002), “Raincoat” (2004), “Guru“(2006), “Dhoom 2”, “Provoked“(2007), “Jodhaa Akbar” (2008) and “Sarkar Raj” (2008). She recently featured in Mani Ratnam’s “Raavan” and opposite superstar Rajnikanth in “Robot”.

Some of her English projects include “Bride & Prejudice” (2003), “Mistress of Spices”, “The Last Legion” (2007) and “Pink Panther”.

According to a 2009 Forbes list, Aishwarya Rai is India’s most bankable star in Hollywood, and is also counted among the 100 most beautiful women in the world.

She has been attending many international film festivals and was also the first Indian actress to be on the jury of the Cannes Film Festival in 2003.

Now she is gearing up for the release of “Action Replayy” on Diwali and “Guzaarish”, and is busy promoting them. But she hopes to spend some time with her family as she steps into her new year.

"Aishwarya dances like a dream"

Choreographer Longinus Fernandes made actors in 'Slumdog Millionaire' dance to his tunes and also directed a sequence in the Hollywood film 'Eat, Pray Love', but it is Aishwarya Rai who bowled him over with her "dream" like dance moves.

He has choreographed the song 'Udi udi' in Sanjay Leela Bhansali's forthcoming film 'Guzaarish'.

"It's very unusual. We have never seen Aishwarya doing these steps. It's very different from what she has done in the past and she has done a brilliant job with it. She is a wonderful dancer and dances like a dream," Longinus said.

"It did not take her long to learn the dance but it did take her some time to perfect it and to get into the mood of the character," he added.

The song is slowly becoming a rage especially because of Aishwarys's impressive and graceful moves in a black and red long dress.

"Sanjay wanted to make the song different and unique. I asked him if we can add a little bit of Spanish to it and give it a raw, earthy feel. He liked the idea, so we gave the whole dance a look which is very rustic to make it look as natural as possible," said the dance director.

Longinus, who won a Filmfare Award for best choreography for the song 'Pappu can't dance sala...' in 'Jaane tu Ya Jaane Na', had assisted Farah Khan for a couple of years.

It was on the sets of the dance reality show 'Jhalak Dikhla Jaa', where Longinus was a contestant and Bhansali a judge, that the two met.

"It was not very difficult for me to get this break because Sanjay Leela Bhansali has always been very fond of me. He was a judge with 'Jhalak...' and he told me that time that he will work with me for sure. And he kept his promise.

"I did a small piece in 'Saawariya' too, but that went unnoticed. But with this one Sanjay and I are so happy that people are actually liking the sequence," he said.

Also starring Hrithik Roshan as paraplegic patient, 'Guzaarish' releases Nov 19.

Sallu’s Minting Money

Salman Khan is irreplaceable and this has just been proved! The dashing Khan walked out of Dus Ka Dum earlier this year due to a financial dispute with the TV channel.

For the first season of Dus Ka Dum, Salman charged Rs 89 crore whereas for the second season he asked for a small percentage of raise which didn’t quite happen. His fee was then agreeably cut down since the channel admitted a cash crunch due to the economic recession. The third season came along and according to insiders there was still no sign of increment from the channel.

Sallu bhai made it loud and clear when he walked out, that if he returns, he would return on his own terms. Tried as they might, they just couldn’t find someone good enough to replace the great Khan. It was no surprise that last week he was called by the broadcasters of the show. With Big Boss 4, Dus Ka Dum and Dabangg Salman might just top the rich list in T’Town this year.

Shilpa rocks on the ramp

In the backdrop of a majestic white set, showstoppers Shilpa Shetty and Chitrangada Singh sashayed down the ramp as designer Tarun Tahiliani brought the curtains down on the latest edition of Wills Lifestyle India Fashion Week with a grand show.

Two larger than life trees were fabricated at the entry of the ramp and the show area was lit with orange, green, blue, red and yellow lights. The entire ramp was made of white jute while the ceilings were draped with white stripes.

Even though it was the grand finale, Tarun stuck to what he is best at - contemporary designs with western silhouettes.

"Tarun has been like family to me. He is absolutely adorable. The best thing I like about him is that he brings out a new avatar in me every time and I love to walk for him," said Shilpa who looked stunning in a white lehenga and a net blouse.

Chitrangada walked in a silk blush gauze saree encrusted with crystallised elements.

Tarun's collection titled 'New Democracy', aimed at providing a new direction to India's textiles, prints, fabrics, weaves and colours.

"As we get westernised, our Indianness is getting lost somewhere. My collection is an attempt to bring it back with the use of Indian handlooms and drapes," said Tarun.

Aishwarya's birthday plans revealed

Aishwarya Rai, who is busy promoting two of her upcoming films releasing next month, will squeeze in some time to be with her family on her birthday November 1.

"I am busy promoting my films. 'Action Replayy' is releasing on November 5 so lots of intense work every day. I have kept aside time on my birthday as always I spend it with my family, and how the day will roll I have no idea," Aishwarya, who will turn 37, said.

After director Vipul Shah's retro comedy 'Action Replayy', Aishwarya has Sanjay Leela Bhansali's 'Guzaarish' releasing November 19.

Saif: "I am not as good as the Khans”

Actor Saif Ali Khan says he is not in competition with the three other Khans of Bollywood - Aamir, Shah Rukh and Salman. He is happy with the position he has in the industry and adds that he has "a long way to go".

"They have worked in iconic and more successful films. Aamir's debut movie Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak was a superhit, Salman's Maine Pyar Kiya was also a superhit, Shah Rukh's done equally good. I am really happy with the position where I am," Saif told reporters on Friday.

"I look forward to doing better films and rising up to that position, but they are senior to me and have worked in great films. They completely deserve the position they are in. I have a lot of respect for them," he said.

The actor was speaking at the Epicentre Auditorium in Apparel House, Gurgaon at the celebration of the Taj Enlighten Film Society, which has been validated as India's Largest Film Society by the Federation of Film Societies of India (FFSI).

"I think I do have a niche. I think I have the saleability, I have the ability to roll a project as a producer as well as the lead actor, which in itself is a substantially satisfying achievement. But am I satisfied with the depth of the niche? No, of course not. I want it to be much deeper, work harder. I have a long way to go. Work is in progress."

The actor is now busy with his first production venture spy thriller Agent Vinod, which also stars Kareena Kapoor in the lead.

"It is a very basic story. We are working hard on it and trying to take the action and the drama to another level," he said.

After Omkara, he is again in talks with filmmaker Vishal Bhardwaj to star in his new film.

"I am looking forward to working with Vishal Bhardwaj. We are on the verge of finalising things," he added.

Abhishek hits back at insult

Abhishek Bachchan has hit back at ad-man Prahlad Kakkar's comment that the actor should be in the Guinness Book of World Records for standing strong despite delivering 17 flops.

"I love Prahlad Kakkar, he should be a stand-up comic not an ad-filmmaker. Maybe then someone will take him seriously! This coming from a man who makes commercials with his own son," Abhishek posted on his Twitter page.

Kakkar, who made Abhishek's wife Aishwarya Rai famous as Sanju in a 1993 TV commercial for Pepsi, took a jibe on Abhishek at the Mumbai Film Festival.

Taking a potshot at Abhishek, the adman said: "Abhishek Bachchan has 17 flops in a row and is still going strong. He is unique and should be in the Guinness Book of Records."

In return, Abhishek commented: "Oh ya, Prahlad, I'm already in the Guinness Book of World Records and a very proud son. I hope you give your sons an opportunity to say the same someday."

In February 2009, Abhishek broke the Guinness' world record for maximum public appearances in 12 hours while promoting Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra's 'Delhi 6'.

Guinness Book Worlds Largest Mouth Record Pictures

The lips and cheeks of Francisco Domingo Joaquim (Angola), were measured, at full stretch, to be 17cm (6.69 in) wide.








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Exercise No 18 Of english shorthand

T is the story which may friend sometimes tells on a long summer evening as we sit together by the open window finding pleasure in the sweet clear air after the still heat of the day .
in those days i was an even batter walker than a am today, and as you know i still very much like a good quick walk.well, on that particular august morning i set out quite early before the on that day was too warm for easy walking . I was healthy on the way that the away from towns of any kind. I was healthy in the way that the food to meet my mall needs and was therefore able to keep away from towns of any kind.i was healthy in the way that the young are healthy and o walked with quick easy steps covering the first eight miles of the road in just under two hour , but with the increase warmth of the day my rate fell little by little .until the full heat of the day i found that i was doing very little more than two and a half miles an hour. Even the small additional weigh of the food i was carrying troubled me , and as it was by this time several hours since my last meal it seemed reasonably that i should look out for a place where i could rest and have a meal in peace.
After a time i reached a point where the road comes very near to a small river and i was pleased enough by that time to walk across the field and to find near the water some undergrowth high enough to offer me some cover from the full light and taht of the open countryside round about.
I took water from the clear quick running river and built a small fire upon some stones and so made my simple meal .such was the heat of the day that it was as much as i could do to keep my eyes open but using all my will power ,i was about to clear away the rest of the food when i saw standing before me a little old woman . so limed was her face that it seemed to me there was more room left was as old as her face. standing there she appeared to to me to represent time itself. but when she began to speak i found her words were common place enough.
Sir she said could you give me some bread and perhaps some milk.
I immediately began to clean up the piece of ground which had served as a table for me making a place for the old woman to and drink offered to her and as she sat without speaking i watched her face.
Tell me old woman i said to my own complete surprised were you always as you are now or were you once young and beautiful . had you once a hpme and a family or have you always walked these roads and fields?
The old woman turned her head and looked at me for a long time without speaking the lines on her face grew even deeper and her old blue eyes were serious as she answered young man i cannot remember for long ages i have walked these toads and these fields i have walked and always i shall walk , i am old and perhaps i have never been young i am plain and perhaps i have never been beautiful you are strong and you have health. you have all the qualities of the young ,because of these things i am speaking to you now .
Shall i tell her to go away i thought. I will stand up and get my things together and continue my walk.
I moved but immediately the voice of the voice of this strange old woman came to me again. No do not go.You must hear what o yes i Thought,. I will wait and hear what she has to say for if she is as wise as she is old her words may be of some use to me in the future,'But the seconds passed and no words came. I looked again and no one was there . not feeling very pleased with myself at the thought that i must have been weak enough to fall off for the thought that i must have been weak enough to fall off for a few minutes and believing that these things had not really happened i began to clear up what was left of my meal. And then i knew that the old woman had been there for my bread was gone and in its place was this.
At this point in his story my friend opens his hand and on a rests a lovely clear blue stone in a beautiful setting of gold.
I always carry this in this history my friend opens his hand and on a rests a lovely clear blue stone in a beautiful setting of gold .
I always carry this about with me now he adds and i know that some day i shall see that old woman again and find out what it was she had to say.

VIDYA BALAN NEW LOOK

Vidya Balan is an Indian film actress, who appears in Bollywood films. After graduating
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do you take an interest in life You might well answer that it all depends upon what taking an interest means and you would do well to answer in that we because much trouble is caused in life through people not expressing themselves in a clear enough way.of be living than dying it is probably that almost every living person is interest.
If however we take it as given that every would tather live than die we must find other meanings for the words. we can indeed be interested in life from very many points of view many well to do and highly successful business men have reached that happy state because they have found a great interest in living their own their lives to the full and not paying too much attention other people actions they have got up each day ready to overcome any difficult that may face them and willing to meet any demands that life may make upon them when time habe been had they have not lost their heads but have remembered that the years in fronts of their best in their daily live and in return they have found success.

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Exercise No 24 of English Short hand

paper itself has come to us from the far east where it east first used. but the word paper has come down to us from the near east and different from of the word are found in several languages.
paper is certainly one of the most common things in the modern world.Every day masses of it are used every day masses of it are burnt and every day masses more of it are made and supplied to the waiting people of the world.
people always want paper and the manufacturer of it need not fear that the demand for his product will fall off. without paper our modern life would at least for a time come to a complete stop.it is indeed very much to be questioned whether our modern life would at least for a time come to a ever have c about had come htere been no paper or some other product of a like mature which was cheap lasting and serviceable.
Without paper we could not writer letter to one another millions of latters are written every dat some written on paper,
before the use of paper writing had first to be done by cutting the characters out of stome and later by using maerial which cost so mich that inly such peole as kings ans army leaders could have them the common people could not like and it would have then have been nothing on which to write and of course we can see at once how impossible it would be to teach people to write if there was no cheap material on which to write .
today we in this country all go to school as children and there we learn to write and to read and as soon as we can write and read simple words we begin to learn other things until most of us end up by kbowung something about quite a number of things some know more and some know rather less but it is just about impossible to find anyone in this country today who has had the opportunity to learn. and for this happy state of things we generally thank the government . little mote than a hundred than a hundred years ago it was by no mean a natural thing for all children to go to school but the government that have one another throughout the years have made it more and more possible for young [eople to go to school until we have reached the state today when we believe that not only should all children go to school and so learn to read and to write but we believe further that all children should be given the opportunity to received higher education if they show thmselves able to take advantage of such training .
the government have been very wise and helpful in passing all the .
acts which have brought us to this happy state but the facts is that it was really the supply of sheap paper in great amounts that made it possible for us all to learn. can we picture what school life would be like without our notebooks and our instruction books there would stand a teacher and facing him would sit or little children longing let us say to read and to write to learn about the history of their own country and of other countries to learn about their own country and to lands but the teacher has no books because he has no paper and the children have nothing on which they can write and then take away their work and learn it, everything must be done from memory .the teacher has to remember what he has been told and the children in their turn have to remember what they have been told . memory is often a poor help. nearly everyone finds it easier to learn through reading words than through heating them .if we wish we can read the words in a book over and over again but the words of the teacher once said are lost for ever . we can of course ask him to say them over again but the time taken to learn wholly in this way would be so great that the children would end up by knowing very little in most cases.
Learning became general when books became general.While books were the property of the few learning was also the property of the few. Now books may be had for the asking and learning too may be had for the asking .it is only out personal qualities that limit the field of our knowledge.

Pit man short hand Exrcise no 30

sometimes it seems that the more we know and the more we learn the less remarkable we considered our learning and our kbowledge to be . when other people can do something that we ourselves cannot o we think that those people must be very wonderful indeed we think that they
must be pf much more worth than we ourselves are yet as soon as we can do that same thing we think nothing of it and begin to look round for something new to learn or to do .
it even seems that we act in this same way in our thoughts about the new goods and the new machine that are so often and so readily out before us in these days it is perhaps difficult to continue to find each new thing so very remarkable when new and better things follow one another at such a great rate we still find ourselves greatly interested however when something quite mew xomes along the first plans to fly over water likes a very poor thing if we seee it now but it certainly caused more talks and gineral interst than the largest and most modern plane causes today let it have four engins or eight engines ot as many as the engineers wish planes are mo longer new and they ate hardly even news the public expects its engineers its engineers and its men of science to bring out newer and larger and better planes for and to fly off to the out does the public pay taxes if not for such things one might ask ?

The first men made objects to free itself from the earth pill amd to fly off to the outer distances may be wirth several lines in the in the newspaper .the second such object may ne much bigger and it may leave the earth much more quickly but because it is mit the fis=rst it cannot hope to get the interest of the public in the way .

in these days we have the most wonderful machines to do for as addition division and other sums . a thousend sums in a second is nothing to such a machine .quickly and still more quickly and still more quickly the figures tly but the public hardly cares it is probable that there was much mote interest three hundred years ago in the first adding machine ever made

Manic-Depressive Preview: This might be the weirdest Cocktail Party ever.

The Dawgs now have three consecutive dominating victories under their belts, and Manic Doug is kind of over the moon about it -- to be exact, he had to be physically restrained from whipping his junk out and pressing it up against the window of the last car he saw with a Gators license-plate frame. You'd think that even Depressive Doug would be heartened by this recent turn of events, but this is Florida we're talking about, so . . . no dice. In this week's Manic-Depressive Preview, we'll find out if Manic's "Woohoo! We don't suck anymore!" can overcome Depressive's relentless focus on 3-17:

Manic Doug: THREE IN A ROW, BABY! And second place with a bullet in the SEC East! Can you believe it?

Depressive Doug: Now that you mention it, no.

MD: Dude, we're about the hottest thing going in the division right now. Meanwhile, the Gators have lost three straight and are basically tripping over their own shadows on offense. We're gonna leave our cleat prints all over their Pro Combat asses and give 'em a taste of their own fuckin' medicine.

DD: Wow. Congratulations.

MD: On what?

DD: On coming out of the coma you've apparently been in for the past 20 years. Does our modern technology confuse and frighten you? It's OK! This thing I'm typing on here is called the In-ter-net, and look, you can use it to get thousands of songs and put them in this tiny little box!

MD: You're mocking me, aren't you?

DD: Brilliant deduction, and yes, I'm mocking the shit out of you. Seriously, have you forgotten everything that's happened over the past two decades in this rivalry? Three-and-seventeen? Do you seriously not get how retarded it is to be taking a win for granted?



MD: I'm not taking anything for granted, but come on, man -- have you seen Florida this year? These aren't the Gators of the Tim Tebow years. Frankly, I'm not convinced they're even the Gators of the Ron Zook years. They're godawful in literally every phase of the offensive game, and they're meeting up with Georgia right when we seem to be hitting our stride on defense.

DD: We gave up 31 points to Kentucky last week. That's what you call "hitting our stride"?

MD: OK, first of all, a lot of that was bullshit points they scored after we'd already gone up 41-17 in the fourth quarter and took our foot off the gas.

DD: They were moving the ball pretty well on us even when we supposedly had our foot on the gas, though. Nine-of-fifteen on third downs? Even third-and-long?

MD: But see, Florida doesn't have the playmakers to pull that off this year.

DD: Don't have the playmakers? So you've never heard of Jeff Demps? Or Trey Burton, who straight-up murdered Kentucky at the goal line a few weeks ago? Or Chris Rainey?

MD: OK, Demps is a gamer, but we've got a guy who scored five TDs against Kentucky, too, and he ended up with a ton more rushing yards than Trey Burton did. And don't even talk to me about Chris Rainey -- he had all of 16 rushing yards this season before he got himself "suspended from team activities." It's gonna take a lot more than Rainey to turn this offense around. What they need is another Tim Tebow, and they don't have one. Turns out Tebow's departure killed this team even more than anyone thought it would, which sucks for the Gators because John Brantley can't do half of what Teebs did, and sucks for everyone else because now we don't get to see pictures of his girlfriend, Erin Drewes, all over the place.

DD: Hmm, I sense an Associated Hottie coming. You do know she wasn't actually his girlfriend, right?

MD: Yeah, but when she got mistaken as his girlfriend while she was at UF, she did what any hot chick in her position would do -- got body-painted up and appeared in Playboy.



DD: (witheringly) A true virtuoso of the segue, you are.

MD: You know you're the only person I know who can still be that sarcastic when he's looking at a chick wearing nothing but paint? If you'll allow me to continue, there's a guy the Florida program might be missing even more than Tebow right now, and it's Dan Mullen, their former offensive coordinator. The new guy, Steve Addazio, is trying to run a Tebow-centric offense with only a John Brantley under center, and it's clearly not working; he's pissed off so many people in Gainesville that he's probably one or two botched snaps away from having to hire someone to taste his food for him.

DD: His offense does look wretched, I'll give you that.

MD: Meanwhile, ours is clicking -- everyone's healthy, the offensive line finally seems to be coming together, and we've now unloaded 40 points on three straight SEC opponents for the first time in Georgia history.

DD: Yeah, but you don't seriously think it's gonna be that easy against the Gators, do you? They've been OK against the run, but straight-up murder against the pass -- 15 interceptions in seven games, top 15 in the nation in terms of both yardage and efficiency allowed. You know as well as I do that the only way Georgia's been able to win this game recently is to score bucketloads of points, and you can't think that's gonna be easy this weekend.

MD: It won't be easy, but it's not impossible. First of all, none of the teams Florida has beaten gave them an A.J. Green to worry about. A.J.'s gonna stretch the field and open things up for the running game, which gets Caleb King back this week, by the way. Second, Aaron Murray has been a straight-up baller this year -- you ask me, I think he's even more poised than David Greene or Matt Stafford were in their first years. And honestly, I kind of like the fact that he's a freshman -- it's almost like he's coming into this game fresh, not knowing or caring about Georgia's baggage in this rivalry.

DD: Wow. As intangibles go, that's a bit of a stretch even by TV-pundit standards. I'm sure Kirk Herbstreit is very impressed.

MD: Fuck you, dude. You're determined to be depressed and miserable about this game, aren't you? In spite of the fact that Florida's weaker than its been in decades and Georgia's got an awesome opportunity to beat them down?

DD: An awesome opportunity, sure, but let's be real here. Urban Meyer may be a megalomaniacal asshole and perhaps even a sociopath, but the guy's no dummy -- you know he's been spending their bye week coming up with new wrinkles to try and give this offense some kind of spark. And regardless of Addazio's incompetence, he's got the playmakers to pull it off. Given how our offense is struggling to stop the pass and defend third downs, I think he's gonna find a way to break just enough big plays to put some points on the board. And if their defense plays up to its potential and finally makes Aaron Murray look like the freshman he is, then that'll be enough points to win. I'm calling it Florida 27, Georgia 17.

MD: That sucks, man! You really think they're gonna make it three-and-eighteen? Who wants to live in a world like that?

DD: I don't like it any more than you do. But this has been an ugly rivalry for us lately, there's no way around it. I've been burned too many times to believe otherwise.

MD: Don't think like that! Open your heart, man! This rivalry can change! Let the Cocktail Party love you! . . .

(extremely awkward pause)

DD: OK, now I'm just embarrassed for you.

MD: Whatever. For those of us who have faith in the mighty Bulldogs, here's how it's gonna go: Florida's offense continues to suck, while A.J. burns the Gator secondary on a couple big plays. That forces Florida to move their defense back and Georgia gets to open up the run and the short passing game, and they hold off a late Gator rally to win, 31-23.

DD: That's a nice story.

MD: Thanks.

DD: But tallying up our respective predictions, I see they average out to . . . a 25-24 Florida win.

MD: You Judas! I can't believe you still managed to screw this one up! I want a do-over on my prediction.

DD: Nope. Too late. You can put up another picture of painted-Gator-fan-chick, though.

MD: You know what? No. No. You don't deserve it. When Georgia comes home from Jacksonville victorious, you'll get to see my bare ass running up and down the street screaming and waving a Georgia flag, that's all you're gonna get to see.

DD: If Georgia comes home from Jacksonville victorious? I'll run up and down the street naked with you.

MD: I'm gonna hold you to that.

DD: Please don't say "hold," but yes, fine. Whatever.

MD: You got a deal.

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