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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Olive Garden Confidential: Second in a series.

The second in our series of grittier, rewritten Olive Garden ads rolls on with a haunting new installment, "Parting." (Previously: "Disclosure.")



WAITRESS: Hi! Can I help you?

MOTHER: Oh, hi, yes, I'm looking for my date.

WAITRESS: Ohhh!

MOTHER: He's very handsome, and his shoes are probably untied.

YOUNG BOY (calling out): Mom!

WAITRESS: (laughs) That's so sweet!

MOTHER: Well, tonight's the night his father and I are telling him we're getting a divorce, so we figured we might as well take him someplace nice, soften the blow a bit . . .

WAITRESS: Oh. (pause) Wow. I'm . . . I'm gonna go get you guys some more breadsticks.

ANNOUNCER: Introducing Olive Garden's new stuffed rigatonis! Filled with five Italian cheeses like mozzarella and parmesan. Try our rigatoni with grilled chicken in a roasted-garlic alfredo, or rigatoni with sausage and tomato alfredo. Starting at $9.95, plus endless breadsticks and salad!

FATHER (to WAITRESS, as YOUNG BOY weeps openly): Could we, ahh, maybe get a few scoops of chocolate gelato over here? And a scotch, double?

ANNOUNCER: Olive Garden -- when you're here, you're family!

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