Monday Morning Cage Match V:The Lexus flexes from Long Beach to Texas.

The Cage Match is pretty straightforward this week, or as straightforward as anything can be that compares a car to a state: This morning's competition is Lexus vs. Texas.

	Lexus	Texas
Founded	1989	1845
WINNER: Texas
Immediate impact	Loss of market share for established German and American luxury-car brands	A new slave state, war with Mexico
WINNER: Lexus
Major products	IS-series sports sedan, LS460 luxury sedan, RX350 sport-utility vehicle	Oil, livestock, cotton, football stars, batshit-crazy politicians
WINNER: Lexus
Motto	"The Pursuit of Perfection"	"Friendship" (seriously)
WINNER: Lexus
Awards/ distinctions	Named most reliable auto brand in the U.S. fourteen times by J.D. Power and Associates	Largest of the lower 48 states, 2005 college football championship
WINNER: Texas
Do they make hybrids?	Yes	That sounds like one a them faggot-ass hippie tree-hugger cars
WINNER: Lexus
Responsible for George W. Bush?	No	Yes
WINNER: Lexus

FINAL SCORE: Lexus 5, Texas 2. Damn, Texas, you just officially got messed with.