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Monday, August 24, 2009

Monday Morning Cage Match XI:It's time to start finding out about our football team.

The college-football season is just 10 days away; the NFL season starts a week after that; and the high-school box scores are already starting to show up in the newspapers. Happiness is about to return to all our lives, people. But it's time we started getting some real relevant information about our teams and the ones we'll be facing this year, and I realize that I've been pretty slack about doing that so far this summer. I aim to remedy that with the Monday Morning Cage Match -- today's Match will be the first in what may be a series (but may not be, but maybe it will, I don't know, whatever) introducing you to Georgia players and showing you how they stack up in hypothetical, arbitrary comparisons that have little to do with their on-field prowess at all. We begin this series by matching up a pair of fiery, up-and-coming redheads: Georgia hero-in-waiting Joe Cox vs. author, blogger, and expert swear-word technician Ana Marie Cox. To your corners!




Joe Cox

Ana Marie Cox
OccupationQuarterbackWashington editor of Time's Web site
WINNER: Joe
Nickname"Ginger Ninja""Wonkette"
WINNER: Joe
Notable early successesWent 31-0 as the starting QB at Independence High School in Charlotte, N.C.Executive editor of Suck.com, then founded one of the Web's most popular political blogs
WINNER: Tie
Big breakThrowing 2 TDs in the final 9:11 to beat Colorado 14-13 in 2006Breaking the "Washingtonienne" scandal about the senatorial aide who blew Bush Administration officials for cash
WINNER: Joe
Followed that up byGoing 4-of-10 for 24 yards the following week against Ole Miss and getting benched the entire second halfGot a quarter-million-dollar advance from Riverhead Books for a novel
WINNER: Ana Marie
Quote"I like the position we’re in. I like when people doubt you and don’t expect a lot from you because I think it makes you want to work for something. That’s the main thing we’ve been trying to tell people this offseason.""The difference btw Tropical Storm Ana and me? It destroys people's THINGS, I just break people's wills."
WINNER: Ana Marie
Record as a starter1-00-0
WINNER: Joe

FINAL SCORE: Joe 5, Ana Marie 3. Already, a reason to be optimistic about the upcoming season.

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