Monday Morning Cage Match XIII:An age-old debate resolved. Well, not really.

As a very wise man by the name of Jim Tressel once said, "Side boob is the new under boob, but not as good as boobs-pushed-against-glass-view boobs." Jimbo hasn't been blogging a lot over at Tressel's World since the Buckeyes got their collective faces rocked off in the 2006 national championship game, which is a loss for all of us, but his sage wisdom lives on and still holds true for us today. But I wanted to know: Is sideboob really the new underboob? Goaded on by Holly, who should really know better by now, I decided to make this age-old question the subject of this week's Cage Match: Sideboob vs. Underboob.

	Sideboob	Underboob
Urban Dictionary definition	"A view of the female breast seen from a side; generally under loosely-fitting clothes. Very titillating (pun intended) and sexual without showing any overt nudity."	"Hands down, one of the finest aspects of a woman's anatomy that can be enjoyed in any public venue. "Underboob is achieved by wearing a very short halter top or cropped tank, also known as an underboob shirt, which exposes the bottom areas of a woman's breasts. "Much like the combination of low-rise jeans and a thong, the underboob shirt can only successfully be worn by select few women."
WINNER: Underboob
Common habitat	Awards-show red carpets	Panama City and other Spring Break locales; various Bike Weekends
WINNER: Sideboob
Well-known practitioner	Lindsay Lohan	Lucy Pinder
WINNER: Underboob
Advantages	Easy to pass off as an accident or "wardrobe malfunction," if necessary	As signs of sexual interest go, it's hard to misinterpret
WINNER: Sideboob
Drawbacks	Less flattering in many instances; association with Lindsay Lohan	Can only be pulled off with breasts of a certain size; more likely to result in a public-indecency charge
WINNER: Underboob
First result on Google image search
WINNER: Tie
Social acceptability rating	5	2
WINNER: Sideboob

FINAL SCORE: Sideboob 4, Underboob 4. There's no need to rank or quantify here; clearly, when it comes to alternative boob views, there are no losers, only winners.