Billy Crystal | Bill Kristol | |
Early years | Performed regularly at The Improv, then got the role of gay ventriloquist Jodie Dallas on "Soap" | Taught politics at a couple of Ivy League schools, then got the role of chief of staff to Reagan's secretary of education |
WINNER: Crystal | ||
Big break | Joined the cast of "Saturday Night Live" in 1984 | Founded The Weekly Standard in 1994 |
WINNER: Crystal | ||
Best known for | Repeated appearances as host of the Academy Awards | Repeated appearances on every political talk show you can think of |
WINNER: Tie | ||
Biggest mistake | "Fathers' Day"/"My Giant" | Full-throated support for the Iraq War |
WINNER: Crystal (but not by much) | ||
Attempt at a comeback | "Analyze This"/"Monsters, Inc." | Full-throated support for Sarah Palin as John McCain's 2008 running mate |
WINNER: Crystal | ||
How'd that work out? | Good reviews and more than $700 million in worldwide grosses | First Democratic president in eight years |
WINNER: Kristol | ||
Sage wisdom | "No man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her." | "[Saddam Hussein]'s got weapons of mass destruction . . . Look, if we free the people of Iraq we will be respected in the Arab world." |
WINNER: Crystal |
FINAL SCORE: Billy Crystal 6, Bill Kristol 2. Lesson: It is better to be unfunny some of the time than to be wrong all of the time.
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