So I know y'all have been waiting on pins and needles for my 5,000-word dissertation on why Georgia's narrow, hideously sloppy win over Georgia Tech last week symbolizes the beginning of the end of hope for the Georgia program in much the same way that Sonny Corleone's assassination marked the beginning of the end of Michael's soul in the first "Godfather" movie, and I was really (not really) looking forward to getting right on that, but lo and behold, when I came home from lunch on Tuesday I looked to my right and saw a big dust-outlined square where my 42" plasma TV used to be. And there was an empty cubbyhole where my DVD player used to be, and an empty box where the Wii I'd just bought and hadn't even hooked up yet used to be . . . and absolutely nothing where my laptop used to be. Long story short, I got robbed, and it sucks.
The real shit of the deal is that just about everything I've ever written was on my laptop, which, barring a miracle, I'm never getting back. (Hope the crackheads enjoy the porn I had saved on there, at least.) But the other stuff can easily be replaced -- and will be, since I had renter's insurance with the full-replacement-cost rider. Right now this is a major pain in the ass, but in the grand scheme of things it's going to prove to be a minor annoyance.
All that said, I'm computer-less for the near future, so you're not gonna find a lot on here until that situation is rectified. Holly and I are fixing to do some computer shopping on Sunday -- she's trying to draw me over to the Apple side, and she may just succeed -- so I'm hoping this hiatus won't last too long. But a hiatus it is. Hang tight for a bit, and for God's sake keep y'all shit locked down. And if you come across a Dell Inspiron 6000 with the serial number DZYXS81, kick the guy who sold it to you in the balls, if you wouldn't mind.
Thiiiiiiiiinks.
Showing posts with label my sordid personal affairs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my sordid personal affairs. Show all posts
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Friday, October 8, 2010
The Friday Random Ten+5 makes a career non-move.
So yesterday I spent the whole day working on a Habitat for Humanity house that my company in sponsoring. One of the questions we got asked when applying to volunteer on the house was "Are you afraid of heights," and I answered "no," so I got to work on the roof. And after a day of discovering how hard it is to do anything when you're constantly working at a 30-degree angle, I've figured out why roofing work is so expensive -- so few people are willing to do it that the ones who are can pretty much charge whatever they want. Lucrative work, but not something I will ever, ever do again if I can help it.
"I don't want to be a roofer" isn't exactly a controversial statement, though. There are plenty of other, more glamorous or exciting jobs I don't want to do, either, and that's why this week's +5 is Five Things I Don't Want To Be When I Grow Up:
Race car driver
This might be a surprise, because I like cars, and I also like driving fast. (I've probably racked up at least one speeding ticket in every county and municipality between Columbus and Birmingham.) But I also like air conditioning, and that's something race cars don't have. Driving three hours at 150-something miles an hour without air conditioning? I won't even drive across town if my air conditioning doesn't work, particularly if it's in the middle of a blazing south Georgia summer. So for right now I guess I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that I'm never going to get paid for driving much too fast.
Policeman
This is interesting, now that I think about it, because "policeman" was the first answer I can ever remember giving to the what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up question. (I was in some Saturday-morning activity workshop when I was like five years old, and we were supposed to make little puppets of the things we wanted to be when we grew up, and I made a policeman. At that point I don't think I had the werewithal to make a puppet for "international ladyslaying CIA assassin-slash-Lego sculptor.) Anyway, I've gotten into my share of legal issues over the years (see above remark about speeding tickets), but that said, it doesn't take a huge amount of intelligence to keep from running afoul of most of the laws on the books. Like, crystal meth possession. Once you've deduced that "Crystal meth makes all your teeth fall out and speeds up the aging process tenfold and is mostly done by dumb rednecks with absolutely nothing else going on in their lives," congratulations, you're no longer at risk of ever becoming a meth addict. So being a policeman seems like it would involve dealing with a staggering amount of truly moronic people, and I only have so much patience for that. I'd either build a reputation as the biggest cynical asshole cop ever whom nobody wanted to work with, or I'd start tasing people for incorrect grammar or calling me "bro." Neither one seems like a great career move.
Salesman
Cynical asshole though I may be, I mostly try to avoid confrontation if it doesn't come to me first. So I think I'm way too prone to taking "no" for an answer to ever be a successful salesman. "Hey, this life insurance will keep your family financially secure and is really affordable." "No thanks." "Allll righty then." I don't think that's how people make money.
Mime
I think this one goes without saying.
Lawyer
Here's the thing: I think I'd be an awesome lawyer. I can argue the shit out of stuff, and if it ever looks like the other side is getting the upper hand, I just confuse the issue and annoy the shit out of them until people give me my way just out of frustration. But while I would love to know more about the law, I don't think I'd ever want to, you know, litigate. Basically everyone else in the courtroom is either a criminal, i.e. someone too dumb to not stay on the right side of the law as per above, or a lawyer, i.e. someone who's as big an asshole as I am, or at least trying to be. I think I could take maybe six months of that before I just got completely fatigued by it. And then I'd quit and either write a bunch of novels like John Grisham or become a law professor. Which actually sounds pretty awesome, but I'd really just prefer it if I could jump straight to either one of those outcomes without having to be a lawyer first.
Just one of the many ways in which life doesn't work out the way I'd like it to, I suppose. And now the Ten:
1. Underworld, "Moon in Water"
2. U2, "4th of July"
3. Jefferson Airplane, "Volunteers"
4. Cut Copy, "Hearts on Fire"
5. Kraak and Smaak, "Enzo"
6. Mos Def, "Close Edge"
7. Genesis, "Invisible Touch"
8. U2, "Dirty Day"
9. Deeds + Thoughts, "The World's Made Up of This and That" (Fatboy Slim remix)
10. Underworld, "Cups"
Your turn -- your Random Tens and/or jobs you don't want in the comments.
"I don't want to be a roofer" isn't exactly a controversial statement, though. There are plenty of other, more glamorous or exciting jobs I don't want to do, either, and that's why this week's +5 is Five Things I Don't Want To Be When I Grow Up:
Race car driver
This might be a surprise, because I like cars, and I also like driving fast. (I've probably racked up at least one speeding ticket in every county and municipality between Columbus and Birmingham.) But I also like air conditioning, and that's something race cars don't have. Driving three hours at 150-something miles an hour without air conditioning? I won't even drive across town if my air conditioning doesn't work, particularly if it's in the middle of a blazing south Georgia summer. So for right now I guess I'll just have to resign myself to the fact that I'm never going to get paid for driving much too fast.
Policeman
This is interesting, now that I think about it, because "policeman" was the first answer I can ever remember giving to the what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up question. (I was in some Saturday-morning activity workshop when I was like five years old, and we were supposed to make little puppets of the things we wanted to be when we grew up, and I made a policeman. At that point I don't think I had the werewithal to make a puppet for "international ladyslaying CIA assassin-slash-Lego sculptor.) Anyway, I've gotten into my share of legal issues over the years (see above remark about speeding tickets), but that said, it doesn't take a huge amount of intelligence to keep from running afoul of most of the laws on the books. Like, crystal meth possession. Once you've deduced that "Crystal meth makes all your teeth fall out and speeds up the aging process tenfold and is mostly done by dumb rednecks with absolutely nothing else going on in their lives," congratulations, you're no longer at risk of ever becoming a meth addict. So being a policeman seems like it would involve dealing with a staggering amount of truly moronic people, and I only have so much patience for that. I'd either build a reputation as the biggest cynical asshole cop ever whom nobody wanted to work with, or I'd start tasing people for incorrect grammar or calling me "bro." Neither one seems like a great career move.
Salesman
Cynical asshole though I may be, I mostly try to avoid confrontation if it doesn't come to me first. So I think I'm way too prone to taking "no" for an answer to ever be a successful salesman. "Hey, this life insurance will keep your family financially secure and is really affordable." "No thanks." "Allll righty then." I don't think that's how people make money.
Mime
I think this one goes without saying.
Lawyer
Here's the thing: I think I'd be an awesome lawyer. I can argue the shit out of stuff, and if it ever looks like the other side is getting the upper hand, I just confuse the issue and annoy the shit out of them until people give me my way just out of frustration. But while I would love to know more about the law, I don't think I'd ever want to, you know, litigate. Basically everyone else in the courtroom is either a criminal, i.e. someone too dumb to not stay on the right side of the law as per above, or a lawyer, i.e. someone who's as big an asshole as I am, or at least trying to be. I think I could take maybe six months of that before I just got completely fatigued by it. And then I'd quit and either write a bunch of novels like John Grisham or become a law professor. Which actually sounds pretty awesome, but I'd really just prefer it if I could jump straight to either one of those outcomes without having to be a lawyer first.
Just one of the many ways in which life doesn't work out the way I'd like it to, I suppose. And now the Ten:
1. Underworld, "Moon in Water"
2. U2, "4th of July"
3. Jefferson Airplane, "Volunteers"
4. Cut Copy, "Hearts on Fire"
5. Kraak and Smaak, "Enzo"
6. Mos Def, "Close Edge"
7. Genesis, "Invisible Touch"
8. U2, "Dirty Day"
9. Deeds + Thoughts, "The World's Made Up of This and That" (Fatboy Slim remix)
10. Underworld, "Cups"
Your turn -- your Random Tens and/or jobs you don't want in the comments.
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Friday Random Ten+5 does not touch that dial.
As much as I love summer, there are three big reasons I love it when fall is about to arrive: 1) football season starts, 2) the weather cools off a bit, and 3) the new TV season starts. Since last night was the season premieres of "Community," "30 Rock" and "The Office," I declare that the official beginning of the new season, and it was everything I dreamed it could be: Betty White drinking her own urine, Matt Damon weeping about "grown-up love," and Steve Carell spanking his nephew. If you didn't watch (or don't watch) any of those shows, you probably don't have any idea what I'm talking about, but you can still revel in this week's +5: The Five TV Shows I've Most Looked Forward To At Various Points In My Life (Besides "30 Rock," Of Course).
"Seinfeld" (1989-1998)
When I say "the shows I most looked forward to," I don't mean the best shows I ever watched, or even the ones that I consider my favorite now -- I mean the shows that most firmly planted themselves in the category of "appointment viewing," the shows I did the most work to rearrange my schedule around. "Seinfeld," though, was appointment viewing, and one of the best shows, and one that's still one of my favorites even today. I think the thing that was so groundbreaking about it wasn't that it was "about nothing" -- or maybe it's more correct to say that when people talk about it being "about nothing," what they really mean is that the characters learned nothing as they went from one episode to the next. Refreshingly, there were never any tearful heart-to-heart talks or climactic speeches in which the moral of that week's episode was revealed; the characters acted crazy, they were horrible to one another, the story ended and they were just as crazy and horrible to one another the following week. Jerry was still a sarcastic guy who couldn't stay interested in the same woman for more than a couple dates, George was still a neurotic douche, Kramer was still a "hipster doofus" (and, later, a horrible racist). In its own way, it was indeed the show of its time, mirroring a society that gleefully stumbled from one misadventure to the next remaining defiantly resistant to learning anything from what they'd just put themselves (and others) through. And also my chemistry teacher from my sophomore year in high school, Mrs. Summers, and I bonded over it and she gave me a Snapple on the last day of school that year.
"Knight Rider" (1982-1986)
Important for three reasons: One, it was the very first show I can remember deeming "my favorite"; two, it taught me that Cars Are Awesome; three, it prompted my very first celebrity crush that I can recall -- on Rebecca Holden, who played April, KITT's chief mechanic, in the second season. To this day I can't participate in the public razzing of David Hasselhoff nearly as lustily as the rest of society; he gave me so much, man.
"The Cosby Show" (1984-1992)
You know what's weird about this program? At the risk of sounding like I'm trying to retroactively build up my White Liberal Guilt credentials, I and pretty much every other kid in my class from third grade through fifth or sixth made this show "appointment viewing" on every single Thursday night, and yet it never occurred to any of us that it was a "black show" or that the characters were any different than we were. Fifty years from now, we may be looking back on this show and realizing that it had a more profound (if less immediately apparent) effect on race relations in this country than Rodney King or the election of Barack Obama. (Of course, Bill Cosby would probably call me an idiot for even mentioning any of this, and he may not be wrong.)
"Murphy Brown" (1988-1998)
Two things I knew even when I was only in junior high: Candice Bergen was hot, and Dan Quayle was an idiot. One thing that went right over my head, though, at the time: People who go into journalism as a career become bitter, romantically unlucky ex-alcoholics, and that's a best-case scenario. There was a lesson there if only I'd bothered to pay attention to it.
"The Golden Girls" (1985-1992)
This show was actually appointment viewing at two points in my life: the first time when it was on its initial run, and the second time during the summer before my senior year of college. I hadn't been able to nail down an internship for that summer, so I stayed up in Athens with a skeleton crew of fellow Red & Blackers who cranked out the weekly edition of the paper during summer semester. Each Wednesday, we'd stick around at the R&B offices until the thing was finally put to bed, then convene at a friend's apartment and drink grape Kool-Aid spiked with Golden Grain while we watched "Golden Girls" reruns. The drank, of course, soon acquired the nickname "Golden Girls Kool-Aid," and once we'd lubricated ourselves with enough of it, we headed on down to Boneshakers for '80s night. And yeah, you're remembering correctly, Boneshakers was a gay club, but on '80s night there was a pretty much equal mix of gays and straights, all of whom were welcome to dance like complete douchebags to songs like "Don't You Want Me," "A Little Respect" and "The Glamorous Life." Man, those were some good times. Boneshakers closed down a few years ago and is now something else; somebody needs to bring that place back.
And here's the Ten:
1. 3rd Bass, "French Toast"
2. Electronic, "The Patience of a Saint"
3. Billy Paul, "Me and Mrs. Jones"
4. The Chemical Brothers, "Get Up On It Like This"
5. Gorillaz, "Latin Simone"
6. Pet Shop Boys, "Se a vida é (That's the Way Life Is)" (Mark Picchiotti vocal mix)
7. The Go! Team, "Feelgood By Numbers"
8. Pet Shop Boys, "KDX 125" (Vangelis mix)
9. David Holmes, "The Ballad of Sarah & Jack"
10. Pet Shop Boys, "Go West" (bootleg version)
Your own most eagerly anticipated television shows, along with your Random Tens, are welcome in the comments.
Revisited the summer before my senior year at UGA with Golden Girls Kool-Aid and trips to Boneshakers
"Seinfeld" (1989-1998)
When I say "the shows I most looked forward to," I don't mean the best shows I ever watched, or even the ones that I consider my favorite now -- I mean the shows that most firmly planted themselves in the category of "appointment viewing," the shows I did the most work to rearrange my schedule around. "Seinfeld," though, was appointment viewing, and one of the best shows, and one that's still one of my favorites even today. I think the thing that was so groundbreaking about it wasn't that it was "about nothing" -- or maybe it's more correct to say that when people talk about it being "about nothing," what they really mean is that the characters learned nothing as they went from one episode to the next. Refreshingly, there were never any tearful heart-to-heart talks or climactic speeches in which the moral of that week's episode was revealed; the characters acted crazy, they were horrible to one another, the story ended and they were just as crazy and horrible to one another the following week. Jerry was still a sarcastic guy who couldn't stay interested in the same woman for more than a couple dates, George was still a neurotic douche, Kramer was still a "hipster doofus" (and, later, a horrible racist). In its own way, it was indeed the show of its time, mirroring a society that gleefully stumbled from one misadventure to the next remaining defiantly resistant to learning anything from what they'd just put themselves (and others) through. And also my chemistry teacher from my sophomore year in high school, Mrs. Summers, and I bonded over it and she gave me a Snapple on the last day of school that year.
"Knight Rider" (1982-1986)
Important for three reasons: One, it was the very first show I can remember deeming "my favorite"; two, it taught me that Cars Are Awesome; three, it prompted my very first celebrity crush that I can recall -- on Rebecca Holden, who played April, KITT's chief mechanic, in the second season. To this day I can't participate in the public razzing of David Hasselhoff nearly as lustily as the rest of society; he gave me so much, man.
"The Cosby Show" (1984-1992)
You know what's weird about this program? At the risk of sounding like I'm trying to retroactively build up my White Liberal Guilt credentials, I and pretty much every other kid in my class from third grade through fifth or sixth made this show "appointment viewing" on every single Thursday night, and yet it never occurred to any of us that it was a "black show" or that the characters were any different than we were. Fifty years from now, we may be looking back on this show and realizing that it had a more profound (if less immediately apparent) effect on race relations in this country than Rodney King or the election of Barack Obama. (Of course, Bill Cosby would probably call me an idiot for even mentioning any of this, and he may not be wrong.)
"Murphy Brown" (1988-1998)
Two things I knew even when I was only in junior high: Candice Bergen was hot, and Dan Quayle was an idiot. One thing that went right over my head, though, at the time: People who go into journalism as a career become bitter, romantically unlucky ex-alcoholics, and that's a best-case scenario. There was a lesson there if only I'd bothered to pay attention to it.
"The Golden Girls" (1985-1992)
This show was actually appointment viewing at two points in my life: the first time when it was on its initial run, and the second time during the summer before my senior year of college. I hadn't been able to nail down an internship for that summer, so I stayed up in Athens with a skeleton crew of fellow Red & Blackers who cranked out the weekly edition of the paper during summer semester. Each Wednesday, we'd stick around at the R&B offices until the thing was finally put to bed, then convene at a friend's apartment and drink grape Kool-Aid spiked with Golden Grain while we watched "Golden Girls" reruns. The drank, of course, soon acquired the nickname "Golden Girls Kool-Aid," and once we'd lubricated ourselves with enough of it, we headed on down to Boneshakers for '80s night. And yeah, you're remembering correctly, Boneshakers was a gay club, but on '80s night there was a pretty much equal mix of gays and straights, all of whom were welcome to dance like complete douchebags to songs like "Don't You Want Me," "A Little Respect" and "The Glamorous Life." Man, those were some good times. Boneshakers closed down a few years ago and is now something else; somebody needs to bring that place back.
And here's the Ten:
1. 3rd Bass, "French Toast"
2. Electronic, "The Patience of a Saint"
3. Billy Paul, "Me and Mrs. Jones"
4. The Chemical Brothers, "Get Up On It Like This"
5. Gorillaz, "Latin Simone"
6. Pet Shop Boys, "Se a vida é (That's the Way Life Is)" (Mark Picchiotti vocal mix)
7. The Go! Team, "Feelgood By Numbers"
8. Pet Shop Boys, "KDX 125" (Vangelis mix)
9. David Holmes, "The Ballad of Sarah & Jack"
10. Pet Shop Boys, "Go West" (bootleg version)
Your own most eagerly anticipated television shows, along with your Random Tens, are welcome in the comments.
Revisited the summer before my senior year at UGA with Golden Girls Kool-Aid and trips to Boneshakers
Monday, September 20, 2010
Poll dancing, week 3: At least nobody died.
So I was up in Tennessee this past weekend, getting a firsthand look at the Tennessee-Florida rivalry with Holly and Spencer (and, of course, catching just enough of the Georgia-Arkansas game to know what it feels like to have one's heart ripped out of one's chest while still fully conscious). Holly had her future sister-in-law's bridal shower to attend Sunday afternoon, so she said I could either stick around in Knoxville and ride home with her or ride with Spencer and get home early. Holly's brother's fiancee is a lovely girl, but showers of any kind, be they bridal or baby or whatever, peg my personal Fun-O-Meter right down around "receive prostate exam from doctor with very cold hands" territory, so I said I'd hitch a ride with Spence.
Five miles or so north of Cartersville, Georgia, right after we'd been blown past by three Clemson coeds in a yellow Mustang convertible with the vanity plate "TOPL1SS," Spencer's car decided to die from embarrassment and give up any ambitions of traveling faster than 20 miles an hour on I-75. We pulled over onto the shoulder and called a tow truck, and because the tow truck didn't have enough room in the cab for all of us and the two dogs I'd brought up to Knoxville, they got to ride in Spencer's disabled Honda on the back of a flatbed. Here's Jenna, wearing her DUDE NO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING expression as the car is hoisted aboard:
So we made it back to Decatur about an hour and a half late, where Spencer's better half was waiting for us with Red Bulls and a thermos of vodka. And I got home, and the Redskins lost in overtime after blowing a 27-10 second-half lead to the Texans, and that's that.
How was your weekend?
Games watched: North Carolina State-Cincinnati, first half of Southern Miss-Kansas, Florida-Tennessee, parts of Auburn-Clemson, the end of Michigan State-Notre Dame, Arizona-Iowa.
The next five: Wisconsin, Virginia Tech, LSU, Georgia Tech, Notre Dame.
· Yup, it must be Pac-10 Week up in this ballot, as Arizona and Stanford ride perhaps the two most impressive victories of the weekend into the top 10, joining Oregon's point-a-minute squad. The Pac-10 was pegged as one of the weaker BCS conferences in the preseason, but between these three teams and Oregon State, who frequently seems to take a while to get rolling but has as much raw talent as anyone in that league, the race for the Rose Bowl could be very, very fun to watch this year.
· Iowa takes a hit for nearly putting poor Ricky Stanzi in the hospital thanks to the Hawkeye O-line's horrendous breakdowns toward the end of their upset loss to 'Zona, and yes, the Wildcats are a good team, but that kind of pass protection isn't going to get anyone very far in the Big 10 this year. Nor will Oklahoma's schizophrenic defense get them anywhere near the national championship game if they keep this up.
· I'm feeling Texas more than I was previously -- OK, yes, that defense is just plain unfair -- but I'm still not sold on the offense. I have a feeling they're going to need to put more than 24 points on the board to beat the Sooners or Cornhuskers.
· California takes a precipitous drop thanks to getting pasted by Nevada on Friday night, further cementing my suspicions that Jeff Tedford is not actually a human but a robot who missed getting a critical software update sometime back in 2007. Michigan also takes a steep fall after proving pretty conclusively to the world that they're going to have to win every game this season by a score of something like 45 to 41, and seriously, whoever's bright idea it was to start putting D-IAAs on the Wolverines' schedule just needs to cut that shit out.
· Welcome Nevada, Clemson, and Michigan State, and yes, Clemson gets in there despite losing, because they looked way better than I thought they would and lost to Auburn on a very horrible bit of bad luck, and who else am I gonna put in there, anyway.
So there's that, and here's the SEC Power Poll ballot for this week:
1. Alabama -- Laugh if you want, but that was a pretty good offense that the Tide D completely stuffed in Durham. Still can't find any real reason not to call these guys the best team in the nation.
2. South Carolina -- Sleepy performance against Furman, but they'd earned a breather.
3. Arkansas -- Still don't know if I'd call their defense SEC-championship caliber, but it looks improved enough to earn a pretty decent bowl bid, if nothing else.
4. Florida -- This weekend's game at Alabama will show just how far the Gators can get with their still-not-quite-fully-baked offense.
5. Auburn -- Weird (and incredibly hard-hitting) game Saturday night, one Auburn was very fortunate to survive with a win. It'll be interesting to see how this affects their play over the next couple weeks.
6. LSU -- Continuing to beat below-average teams just badly enough to look competent in front of the pollsters. Christ, they're gonna go 9-3 again, aren't they?
7. Kentucky -- That #2 ranking in the SEC in total offense won't last once they start playing real teams. The #10 ranking in run defense, though, just might.
8. Georgia -- It's gonna be hard for this offense to accomplish anything of note if the coaches can't find a setting for Murray other than "do absolutely nothing" and "carry the entire team on your back."
9. Tennessee -- Like last year, they're going to have to content themselves with a lot of moral victories. Unlike last year, it doesn't look like that's what they're playing for.
10. Vanderbilt -- Vandy now has a better SEC record than Georgia, Tennessee, or Ole Miss. Oh, hey, good for them.
11. Mississippi State -- Look on the bright side, State fans: With Mullen at the helm, it now takes two QBs to throw five picks in a single game.
12. Ole Miss -- It's a damn good thing for the Rebels that the NCAA doesn't have English Premier League-style relegation, or they'd be sewing "C-USA" patches onto their jerseys right now.
Five miles or so north of Cartersville, Georgia, right after we'd been blown past by three Clemson coeds in a yellow Mustang convertible with the vanity plate "TOPL1SS," Spencer's car decided to die from embarrassment and give up any ambitions of traveling faster than 20 miles an hour on I-75. We pulled over onto the shoulder and called a tow truck, and because the tow truck didn't have enough room in the cab for all of us and the two dogs I'd brought up to Knoxville, they got to ride in Spencer's disabled Honda on the back of a flatbed. Here's Jenna, wearing her DUDE NO SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING expression as the car is hoisted aboard:
So we made it back to Decatur about an hour and a half late, where Spencer's better half was waiting for us with Red Bulls and a thermos of vodka. And I got home, and the Redskins lost in overtime after blowing a 27-10 second-half lead to the Texans, and that's that.
How was your weekend?
Games watched: North Carolina State-Cincinnati, first half of Southern Miss-Kansas, Florida-Tennessee, parts of Auburn-Clemson, the end of Michigan State-Notre Dame, Arizona-Iowa.
Hey Jenny Slater Ballot - Week 4
| Rank | Team | Delta |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Alabama Crimson Tide | -- |
| 2 | Ohio St. Buckeyes | -- |
| 3 | TCU Horned Frogs | -- |
| 4 | Oregon Ducks |  1 |
| 5 | Nebraska Cornhuskers | 3 |
| 6 | Arizona Wildcats | 15 |
| 7 | Stanford Cardinal | 12 |
| 8 | Boise St. Broncos |  -1 |
| 9 | South Carolina Gamecocks | -- |
| 10 | Arkansas Razorbacks | 2 |
| 11 | Oklahoma Sooners | -7 |
| 12 | Florida Gators | -1 |
| 13 | Texas Longhorns | 4 |
| 14 | Auburn Tigers | -1 |
| 15 | Iowa Hawkeyes | -9 |
| 16 | Miami Hurricanes | 2 |
| 17 | Utah Utes | 3 |
| 18 | Nevada Wolf Pack | -- |
| 19 | Oregon St. Beavers | -5 |
| 20 | California Golden Bears | -10 |
| 21 | Penn St. Nittany Lions | 2 |
| 22 | Clemson Tigers | -- |
| 23 | Pittsburgh Panthers | 1 |
| 24 | Michigan Wolverines | -9 |
| 25 | Michigan St. Spartans | -- |
| Dropouts: Wisconsin Badgers, Houston Cougars, Air Force Falcons | ||
SB Nation BlogPoll College Football Top 25 Rankings »
The next five: Wisconsin, Virginia Tech, LSU, Georgia Tech, Notre Dame.
· Yup, it must be Pac-10 Week up in this ballot, as Arizona and Stanford ride perhaps the two most impressive victories of the weekend into the top 10, joining Oregon's point-a-minute squad. The Pac-10 was pegged as one of the weaker BCS conferences in the preseason, but between these three teams and Oregon State, who frequently seems to take a while to get rolling but has as much raw talent as anyone in that league, the race for the Rose Bowl could be very, very fun to watch this year.
· Iowa takes a hit for nearly putting poor Ricky Stanzi in the hospital thanks to the Hawkeye O-line's horrendous breakdowns toward the end of their upset loss to 'Zona, and yes, the Wildcats are a good team, but that kind of pass protection isn't going to get anyone very far in the Big 10 this year. Nor will Oklahoma's schizophrenic defense get them anywhere near the national championship game if they keep this up.
· I'm feeling Texas more than I was previously -- OK, yes, that defense is just plain unfair -- but I'm still not sold on the offense. I have a feeling they're going to need to put more than 24 points on the board to beat the Sooners or Cornhuskers.
· California takes a precipitous drop thanks to getting pasted by Nevada on Friday night, further cementing my suspicions that Jeff Tedford is not actually a human but a robot who missed getting a critical software update sometime back in 2007. Michigan also takes a steep fall after proving pretty conclusively to the world that they're going to have to win every game this season by a score of something like 45 to 41, and seriously, whoever's bright idea it was to start putting D-IAAs on the Wolverines' schedule just needs to cut that shit out.
· Welcome Nevada, Clemson, and Michigan State, and yes, Clemson gets in there despite losing, because they looked way better than I thought they would and lost to Auburn on a very horrible bit of bad luck, and who else am I gonna put in there, anyway.
So there's that, and here's the SEC Power Poll ballot for this week:
1. Alabama -- Laugh if you want, but that was a pretty good offense that the Tide D completely stuffed in Durham. Still can't find any real reason not to call these guys the best team in the nation.
2. South Carolina -- Sleepy performance against Furman, but they'd earned a breather.
3. Arkansas -- Still don't know if I'd call their defense SEC-championship caliber, but it looks improved enough to earn a pretty decent bowl bid, if nothing else.
4. Florida -- This weekend's game at Alabama will show just how far the Gators can get with their still-not-quite-fully-baked offense.
5. Auburn -- Weird (and incredibly hard-hitting) game Saturday night, one Auburn was very fortunate to survive with a win. It'll be interesting to see how this affects their play over the next couple weeks.
6. LSU -- Continuing to beat below-average teams just badly enough to look competent in front of the pollsters. Christ, they're gonna go 9-3 again, aren't they?
7. Kentucky -- That #2 ranking in the SEC in total offense won't last once they start playing real teams. The #10 ranking in run defense, though, just might.
8. Georgia -- It's gonna be hard for this offense to accomplish anything of note if the coaches can't find a setting for Murray other than "do absolutely nothing" and "carry the entire team on your back."
9. Tennessee -- Like last year, they're going to have to content themselves with a lot of moral victories. Unlike last year, it doesn't look like that's what they're playing for.
10. Vanderbilt -- Vandy now has a better SEC record than Georgia, Tennessee, or Ole Miss. Oh, hey, good for them.
11. Mississippi State -- Look on the bright side, State fans: With Mullen at the helm, it now takes two QBs to throw five picks in a single game.
12. Ole Miss -- It's a damn good thing for the Rebels that the NCAA doesn't have English Premier League-style relegation, or they'd be sewing "C-USA" patches onto their jerseys right now.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The Friday Random Ten+5 runs downstairs to see what Santa (or Rece Davis) brought.
So last night was the official beginning of the 2010 college football season, and it was everything I hoped it could be. OK, maybe not everything -- South Carolina looked frighteningly proficient, and at no point in the USC-Hawaii game did anyone leave a flaming bag of dog poo on the sideline for Lane Kiffin to frantically stomp out, but still, it was football. In high def. That I was watching on my own TV, in my own house, that I was paying for with money from a job, which was not the case this time last year. Maybe God really does want me to be happy.
I don't think it's much of an exaggeration to say that I look forward to this glorious day in much the same way that a little kid looks forward to Christmas; that's how giddy the anticipation is. It's got all the trappings of Christmas, when you think about it: excited predictions about what we're all going to get (in the wins column), wearing special outfits and cooking special foods, spreading glad tidings to our fellow believers, making elaborate travel plans. (Seriously, a couple weekends ago Holly and I sat down and planned out every weekend between now and mid-December -- who our teams are playing, where we're gonna be, whether we'll be in the same place or off doing our separate thing. I made a spreadsheet. It's color-coded. Maybe you're not impressed, but Holly's mom was, and that's what counts.)
So I hope that counts as proof that I haven't become totally jaded, or completely lost my ability to experience childlike wonder about, you know, stuff. And football's not the only thing: There are still some things I await with breathless anticipation, even as an adult. These wonderful things are the subject of this week's +5: Five Things I Anticipate As Eagerly As Christmas (Or Football Season).
The Phil Steele annual
Stipulated: When you're making multiple sweaty-palmed visits to Books-A-Million round about the first week in June to see if the Holy Grail of football statistics and handicapping advice has arrived, you have a problem. Maybe a terminal one. But the arrival of Phil Steele's college football bible is the unofficial halfway point of the offseason -- a sign that it really is OK to start getting publicly geeked up about this stuff again, not to mention a sign that the end of the seemingly interminable football-free desert is on the horizon. And when you open that thing up to find that your team has been anointed by Saint Phil to do great things, it's like a ray of sunlight has burst from the clouds and pointed itself straight at you.
New James Bond movies
Even in the waning days of the Pierce Brosnan era, as the Bond franchise threatened to crumble into a mess of over-the-top CGI and questionable casting choices, the arrival of a new James Bond movie was something to look forward to. Now that the franchise has been rebooted and an emphasis has been placed on actual, you know, cinematic merit, it's become An Event. The series has stalled as MGM Studios has gone into deep financial troubles, but Daniel Craig is still under contract for two more movies, and both Craig and director Sam Mendes are said to be eager to get started on the next film once MGM gets its finances squared away. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping there will be a 23d Bond film (and a 24th) -- it just looks like we're going to have to wait a while for them.
New updates to the iPhone operating system
OK, yes, this is Nerd City, the kind of thing that (ugh) a Georgia Tech fan might get jacked up about. But if you were an iPhone owner, you'd understand. "You mean I can cut-and-paste with a tap of my finger now? AND there's multitasking?!?!" Maybe it's sad that this is what I've been reduced to, but hey, it's a harsh world out there. You take your glimmers of hope where you can find them.
The World Cup
Here's the weird thing: For 47 out of every 48 months on average, I don't follow soccer at all. No, I don't feel guilty about this, it's not like soccer doesn't have enough fans elsewhere in the world. But there's just something about the World Cup that's awesome to me. Maybe it's the fact that nations from all over the world -- in some cases nations who might otherwise be inclined to despise one another -- are coming together in a single country just to play a game. Maybe it's the opportunity to see teams from fairly downtrodden countries rise up and get a chance to kick the ass of a superpower every now and then. Or, hell, maybe it's just stuff like this. But whatever the case, the World Cup is the one case in which I can get excited about someone winning 1-0 in overtime. It's not football (well, it's not our kind of football), but it'll do.
Getting my income-tax return
For about the past decade, I've been fortunate enough to get a refund from the gubmint on my income taxes, rather than owing them more money. It's kind of like getting a nice little present (or in some cases not-so-little) out of nowhere in the otherwise bleak expanses of February and March. And I can probably set my watch by the moment one of my libertarian or conservative friends pops up in the comments to say "I don't know what you're getting so excited about, the government's only giving you back your own money," but -- man, quit blocking my shine. It's money. I can spend it. Why bitch about it? Assuming I'm still going to continue getting refunds now that I'm at a new job, I think I'm going to blow 2011's refund on this.
Wow, I feel like a kid again! OK, not really. But here's the Random Ten, which I know y'all have been anticipating as eagerly as Christmas, or football season, or the return of the McRib sandwich:
1. The Roots, "The Spark"
2. Sugar Ray, "Spinning Away"
3. The Clash, "(White Man) in Hammersmith Palais"
4. Beck, "Modern Guilt"
5. DJ Shadow, "High Noon"
6. Beck, "Youthless"
7. The Pixies, "There Goes My Gun"
8. Dexys Midnight Runners, "Come on Eileen"
9. P.M. Dawn, "Reality Used to Be a Friend of Mine"
10. Pet Shop Boys, "Metamorphosis"
Your turn to put your own Random Tens, and/or lists of things you still bother to bounce up and down getting excited about, in the comments. And happy Footballmas, everyone.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
A memo from the desk of Arnold T. Pants, Esq.:Careers headed in different directions, booze, and Legos, of course.
· Life update: So I've been at my new job for almost two months now, and things have been going well -- my affinity for Legos is already becoming well-known throughout the office, which I think is probably a good foretaste of the full-blown Georgia football obsession that will be manifesting itself in just a few weeks. I've also moved into a house, a little 1930s-era number just a few blocks off of the park. (Renting, not owning -- please, bitch, you know I'm not financially responsible enough to handle anything as complicated as a mortgage right now.) Between the park and the fenced-in backyard, Champ and Jenna are doing pretty well, thanks. I'll put some photos of the place up when I've got the place looking right (i.e. like a hobo's not squatting there), but I do have one thing set up exactly the way I want it, and it's the most important thing: the bar.
· In other Columbus-related news, those of you who (like me) were upset to see David Hale depart his role as the Ledger-Enquirer's resident Bulldog correspondent/blogger extraordinaire will be relieved to know that his successor, one Seth Emerson, gives a pretty good interview. Consider, though: Hale is leaving the Bulldogs beat to go cover the Phillies for a paper in Delaware; Emerson comes to Georgia from South Carolina after having covered the Gamecocks for five years. If there's a starker contrast between trading up and trading down, I must confess I haven't seen it. (Welcome, Seth.)
· As for the rest of my homemaking responsibilities, I've been sucked into Ikea's neon with a big assist from Holly -- I wouldn't say that I look forward to Ikea trips as much as I look forward to excursions to, say, the Lego store, but it's getting close.
· Speaking of Legos, I have a new gift idea for anyone who's interested in buying it for me -- the Tower Bridge, all 4,287 pieces of which will be hitting stores on October 1. I think it's going to be around three hundred bucks, so let me know when I should set up the PayPal account for y'all to donate to.
· Finally, this, because it's awesome.
Friday, July 16, 2010
The Friday Random Ten+5 stands up for wagon rights.
If you've been reading this blog for a long time you're probably aware of my borderline-unnatural obsession with station wagons, Volvos in particular. So imagine my dismay today when I discovered that this sweet piece of ass . . .
. . . probably won't be coming to the United States. That's right: Volvo, the company that helped turn station wagons into status objects, that put the 265-horsepower V70R on the road, that once used the advertising tagline "Until Ferrari builds a station wagon," is denying us the V60 wagon you see above. That's kind of like McDonald's announcing that it's only selling Big Macs in Europe and Asia from now on. Sure, you could just go get a Quarter Pounder or even an Angus Deluxe, but what if what you really want is a fricking Big Mac? And why would McDonald's just arbitrarily deprive us of the main product they built their name on to begin with?
Of course, a lot of the blame rests with people who insist on buying SUVs instead of wagons, which are just as practical but sleeker, more agile, and way more efficient. At any rate, in a world where even Volvo can no longer be counted on to stand up for station wagons, I figured I'd use this week's +5 to pay tribute to the wagon's unsung badassedness -- so join me, won't you, as I sing the praises of the Five Most Awesome Non-Volvo Station Wagons Ever:
Ford Taurus
Hell of a way to kick this off, I know. But hear me out: When the Taurus first came out in 1985, at a time when pretty much every other car was rocking sharp angles and square sealed-beam headlights, this thing was hot shit. Or at least I thought so as an impressionable third-grader, and when my mom finally replaced her old Chevy Malibu with a Taurus LX wagon in 1987, I was in heaven. Not only did the thing look badass, but for the first time our family had a car with a rear-facing third seat in it, which my sister and I had coveted for years. Of course, it didn't take that long before we discovered that my cousin Duff and I were the only ones who could sit back there for any length of time without getting carsick, but hey, good for us. Incidentally, I remember taking a family trip up to Washington, D.C., when I was in junior high, and Duff was the one sitting back there with me while we were stopped at a traffic light somewhere in Alexandria and a dude in an Escort rear-ended us. Yup, we got to watch the whole way as the guy -- who was dealing with one of his kids in the passenger seat -- sped toward us, looked up, mouthed the words "Oh shit," tried to hit the brakes, and plowed into us at 30 or 35 miles an hour. The Taurus? Ended up with barely a scratch on the back bumper. So don't tell me that thing wasn't gangsta. Sometimes I still get wistful about it. Room for five passengers and two or three kegs . . . yeah, that would've been an awesome car to take up to college.
Citroën DS Break
Before anyone makes any French-car jokes, "Break" isn't meant to be a consumer warning, it's just the French shorthand for "station wagon." (In the UK it was called "Safari" or "Familiale"; in the U.S. it was just called the "Wagon." Man, we had no imagination whatsoever back then.) By any name, the DS was decades ahead of its time when it first hit the roads in the mid-fifties: It was one of the first cars ever to have disc brakes, power steering, and a semi-automatic transmission; the wagon added a cavernous cargo area and a rear-facing third seat (w00t). The DS as a whole developed a devoted cult following, but the wagon has been converted into everything from ambulances to Ghostbustermobiles to off-roaders to, well, whatever the hell this is. There are still a few of them plying the roads in various far-flung corners of the U.S., and I'd like to think I'll be able to get my hands on one of them someday.
Bentley Continental Flying Star
OK, this one's a bit of a fudge, because it's not technically a station wagon, it's a "shooting-brake" -- a specialized niche of car developed by (mostly British) rich guys who wanted to have something as fast and stylish as a grand touring car but also wanted to be able to carry their rifles and hunting dogs around their property. The Flying Star, converted from the standard-issue Bentley Continental by Italian coachbuilding house Carrozzeria Touring Superleggera, has everything that makes the Continental awesome (twin-turbo W12 engine, 0-60 in less than five seconds, top speed butting right up against the 200-mph mark) but adds a cargo area big enough for me to go by and borrow my parents' lawnmower when I've got yard work to do. Hey, awesome! And it only costs 590,000 Euros, which at the present exchange rate I think converts to approximately half a bajillion dollars. Give or take.
Alfa Romeo 156 Crosswagon
The Crosswagon was sort of the Italian version of the Subaru Outback -- take a mainstream station wagon, jack up the suspension a couple inches, add bigger tires, and throw on some body cladding to make it appeal to people who might otherwise get snowed into buying an SUV. As the picture above indicates, it could actually hold its own off-road -- as much as anyone in Italy would ever need it to, anyway -- but had a high-pressure turbodiesel engine that got gas mileage in the mid-30s. Presumably this would have been the preferred car of left-leaning Italian soccer moms, which is a demographic I can live with. (Actually, they'd be called "mamme di calcio" over there. See, this blog teaches you stuff.)
Audi RS6 Avant
I'm assuming you gearheads out there are familiar with the Audi R8, yes? OK, ponder this: Audi took the 5.2-liter V10 out of that car, dialed the horsepower up a few notches, and dropped it into a station wagon, which you can purchase and drive up to 174 miles per hour -- assuming you live in Germany, have $160,000, and are comfortable with the prospect of your face being peeled off by g-forces, Colonel Stapp-style. Quite simply, it is not only the most bad-ass station wagon ever produced but one of the most bad-ass cars on the planet, period. The only thing it doesn't have is the all-important rear-facing third seat, which is kind of a shame, because I think it'd be fun to put your kids back there and let them wave as you smoke Porsche 911s and Shelby Mustangs away from stoplights.
By the way, I'm launching a Twitter campaign (aimed at @VolvoCars_US) to demand that Volvo treat the V60 wagon as an equal: Be sure to use the hashtags #shameonyouvolvo and #freetheV60, along with whatever else you can come up with. With your help, I can force Volvo to bend to my whim and bring the V60 stateside, or at least send me some free shit.
Here's the Ten:
1. Pet Shop Boys, "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing" (extended version)
2. The Trammps, "Disco Inferno"
3. The Sex Pistols, "Anarchy in the U.K."
4. Eric B. and Rakim, "I Ain't No Joke"
5. U2, "The Unforgettable Fire"
6. Ned's Atomic Dustbin, "Grey Cell Green"
7. Beck, "Novacane"
8. Gorillaz, "Feel Good Inc."
9. Morrissey, "I'm Not Sorry"
10. Ice Cube, "Wicked"
Your turn -- your favorite wagons and/or wagon-related memories (even those not involving accidents), along with your own Random Tens, in the comments, por favor.
. . . probably won't be coming to the United States. That's right: Volvo, the company that helped turn station wagons into status objects, that put the 265-horsepower V70R on the road, that once used the advertising tagline "Until Ferrari builds a station wagon," is denying us the V60 wagon you see above. That's kind of like McDonald's announcing that it's only selling Big Macs in Europe and Asia from now on. Sure, you could just go get a Quarter Pounder or even an Angus Deluxe, but what if what you really want is a fricking Big Mac? And why would McDonald's just arbitrarily deprive us of the main product they built their name on to begin with?
Of course, a lot of the blame rests with people who insist on buying SUVs instead of wagons, which are just as practical but sleeker, more agile, and way more efficient. At any rate, in a world where even Volvo can no longer be counted on to stand up for station wagons, I figured I'd use this week's +5 to pay tribute to the wagon's unsung badassedness -- so join me, won't you, as I sing the praises of the Five Most Awesome Non-Volvo Station Wagons Ever:
Ford Taurus
Hell of a way to kick this off, I know. But hear me out: When the Taurus first came out in 1985, at a time when pretty much every other car was rocking sharp angles and square sealed-beam headlights, this thing was hot shit. Or at least I thought so as an impressionable third-grader, and when my mom finally replaced her old Chevy Malibu with a Taurus LX wagon in 1987, I was in heaven. Not only did the thing look badass, but for the first time our family had a car with a rear-facing third seat in it, which my sister and I had coveted for years. Of course, it didn't take that long before we discovered that my cousin Duff and I were the only ones who could sit back there for any length of time without getting carsick, but hey, good for us. Incidentally, I remember taking a family trip up to Washington, D.C., when I was in junior high, and Duff was the one sitting back there with me while we were stopped at a traffic light somewhere in Alexandria and a dude in an Escort rear-ended us. Yup, we got to watch the whole way as the guy -- who was dealing with one of his kids in the passenger seat -- sped toward us, looked up, mouthed the words "Oh shit," tried to hit the brakes, and plowed into us at 30 or 35 miles an hour. The Taurus? Ended up with barely a scratch on the back bumper. So don't tell me that thing wasn't gangsta. Sometimes I still get wistful about it. Room for five passengers and two or three kegs . . . yeah, that would've been an awesome car to take up to college.
Citroën DS Break
Before anyone makes any French-car jokes, "Break" isn't meant to be a consumer warning, it's just the French shorthand for "station wagon." (In the UK it was called "Safari" or "Familiale"; in the U.S. it was just called the "Wagon." Man, we had no imagination whatsoever back then.) By any name, the DS was decades ahead of its time when it first hit the roads in the mid-fifties: It was one of the first cars ever to have disc brakes, power steering, and a semi-automatic transmission; the wagon added a cavernous cargo area and a rear-facing third seat (w00t). The DS as a whole developed a devoted cult following, but the wagon has been converted into everything from ambulances to Ghostbustermobiles to off-roaders to, well, whatever the hell this is. There are still a few of them plying the roads in various far-flung corners of the U.S., and I'd like to think I'll be able to get my hands on one of them someday.
Bentley Continental Flying Star
OK, this one's a bit of a fudge, because it's not technically a station wagon, it's a "shooting-brake" -- a specialized niche of car developed by (mostly British) rich guys who wanted to have something as fast and stylish as a grand touring car but also wanted to be able to carry their rifles and hunting dogs around their property. The Flying Star, converted from the standard-issue Bentley Continental by Italian coachbuilding house Carrozzeria Touring Superleggera, has everything that makes the Continental awesome (twin-turbo W12 engine, 0-60 in less than five seconds, top speed butting right up against the 200-mph mark) but adds a cargo area big enough for me to go by and borrow my parents' lawnmower when I've got yard work to do. Hey, awesome! And it only costs 590,000 Euros, which at the present exchange rate I think converts to approximately half a bajillion dollars. Give or take.
Alfa Romeo 156 Crosswagon
The Crosswagon was sort of the Italian version of the Subaru Outback -- take a mainstream station wagon, jack up the suspension a couple inches, add bigger tires, and throw on some body cladding to make it appeal to people who might otherwise get snowed into buying an SUV. As the picture above indicates, it could actually hold its own off-road -- as much as anyone in Italy would ever need it to, anyway -- but had a high-pressure turbodiesel engine that got gas mileage in the mid-30s. Presumably this would have been the preferred car of left-leaning Italian soccer moms, which is a demographic I can live with. (Actually, they'd be called "mamme di calcio" over there. See, this blog teaches you stuff.)
Audi RS6 Avant
I'm assuming you gearheads out there are familiar with the Audi R8, yes? OK, ponder this: Audi took the 5.2-liter V10 out of that car, dialed the horsepower up a few notches, and dropped it into a station wagon, which you can purchase and drive up to 174 miles per hour -- assuming you live in Germany, have $160,000, and are comfortable with the prospect of your face being peeled off by g-forces, Colonel Stapp-style. Quite simply, it is not only the most bad-ass station wagon ever produced but one of the most bad-ass cars on the planet, period. The only thing it doesn't have is the all-important rear-facing third seat, which is kind of a shame, because I think it'd be fun to put your kids back there and let them wave as you smoke Porsche 911s and Shelby Mustangs away from stoplights.
By the way, I'm launching a Twitter campaign (aimed at @VolvoCars_US) to demand that Volvo treat the V60 wagon as an equal: Be sure to use the hashtags #shameonyouvolvo and #freetheV60, along with whatever else you can come up with. With your help, I can force Volvo to bend to my whim and bring the V60 stateside, or at least send me some free shit.
Here's the Ten:
1. Pet Shop Boys, "I Wouldn't Normally Do This Kind of Thing" (extended version)
2. The Trammps, "Disco Inferno"
3. The Sex Pistols, "Anarchy in the U.K."
4. Eric B. and Rakim, "I Ain't No Joke"
5. U2, "The Unforgettable Fire"
6. Ned's Atomic Dustbin, "Grey Cell Green"
7. Beck, "Novacane"
8. Gorillaz, "Feel Good Inc."
9. Morrissey, "I'm Not Sorry"
10. Ice Cube, "Wicked"
Your turn -- your favorite wagons and/or wagon-related memories (even those not involving accidents), along with your own Random Tens, in the comments, por favor.
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