Olive Garden Confidential: The Lost Episodes VIII.

It ain't over. It's never over. Today's installment: "Temptation."

First, watch the original ad here.



DAVE: Are you as hungry as I am?

CINDY: Yeah.

DAVE: So what are we in the mood for?

CARL: I'll know it when I see it.

DAVE: OK, well --

A waitress walks by with a piping-hot plate of food.

DAVE: I think I just did!

(laughter)

DAVE: I mean, did you see the rack on that chick? She's gotta be a stripper -- you don't waste a body like that slinging alfredo at Olive Garden. Holy Moses.

(laughter turns a little awkward)

DAVE: And that ass -- God, I just want to take a bite out of it, like an apple . . .

CINDY: (laughter turns nervous) Wow, Dave, I bet, uh, Marcy wouldn't be too happy to hear you say that.

DAVE: What, just because I got a wife and kids at home I can't show my appreciation when a work of pure sculpture walks by? Jeez, pull the stick out of your ass, Cindy.

ANNOUNCER: Discover Olive Garden's two new tortellonis! Tortelloni with Shrimp in our creamy herb sauce, stuffed with our blend of four Italian cheeses and roasted garlic. Or, try Tortelloni with grilled sausage in a homemade basil marinara! Starting at $9.95. Plus endless breadsticks and salad.

CARL: You just have to know where to look, right, bro-ham?

DAVE: (bumps fists with CARL) You said it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find out what Miss Olive Garden is doing after work.

TASHA: (sotto, to CINDY) Aren't Dave and Marcy, you know, still in counseling?

DAVE: And hey, while I'm getting her digits, maybe you can give Grace Ventura, Marriage Detective over here a refresher course in men having needs.

ANNOUNCER: Olive Garden -- when you're here, you're family!