Monday Morning Cage Match X:At long last, apples vs. oranges.

The Cage Match marks its 10th week with this week's matchup, and that calls for something special. And ambitious. What more controversial, diabolical question could we possibly seek to solve than apples vs. oranges? Herewith: Fiona Apple vs. Prince William III of Orange. It's going to be a fight to the finish.

	Fiona Apple	William of Orange
Occupation	Pop singer	Sovereign prince of England
WINNER: William of Orange
Known for	Idiosyncratic lyrics and unusual musical arrangements	Championing the Protestant faith in the face of Catholic French ruler Louis XIV in the 17th century
WINNER: Fiona Apple
First big break	Triple-platinum 1996 debut album Tidal	1670 admission to the Dutch council overseeing the nation's defense budget
WINNER: Fiona Apple
Controversial quote	"This world is bullshit, and you shouldn't model your life on what you think that we think is cool, and what we're wearing and what we're saying."	"Every bullet has its billet."
WINNER: Fiona Apple (William's sounds cooler, but I couldn't figure out what the fuck he was talking about)
Questionable decision	Giving her second album a 90-word title	Restricting the religious freedom of Roman Catholics and non-Christians
WINNER: Fiona Apple
Questionable love interest(s)	"Magnolia" director Paul Thomas Anderson	Two male Dutch courtiers
WINNER: William of Orange (sorry, but "Magnolia" and "There Will Be Blood" really, really sucked)
Current fans	Moody teenagers vacillating between indie-rock hipsterism and goth	Northern Irish Protestants who like holding parades through Catholic areas
WINNER: Tie

FINAL SCORE: Apple 5, Orange 3. The great question is finally settled. You're welcome.